It’s Almost Summer!
You know what that means, only about six months until Halloween! Every year, at about this time, I figure out that I’m closer to Halloween than I am far. It’s such a lovely feeling, knowing that All Hallows Eve is slowly drifting in my direction. It always gets me thinking about what I want to be this year; or, should I say, what I want to be but will never actually dress up as for I never seem to have the money to spend on a costume.
There were years, however, where my costume was the grandest of all! Okay, one year, the others were slapped together with tape and an imagination in direct proportion to my lack of dignity and social consciousness. To wit, I went as a “I taped a bunch of stuffed animals to my head and pretended I was a goth Doctor Doolittle” in my Freshman year of College.
My best costume was dawned on my senior year of High School while working the evening shift at the Po-dunk Taco Bell down the road. I was the Angel of Fate, hooded, faceless, black winged and black robed. I dealt out Tarot cards to hapless customers; customers who came in for a burrito but left knowing the imminent doom that awaited them. I just want you guys to picture this:
You walk into your local Taco Bell on Halloween night, expecting a cashier wearing a dorky purple outfit and a permanent scowl you instead find a faceless black angel who quietly takes your order, draws a Tarot card, shows it to you, and explains in a short sentence what will happen to you tonight. Needless to say I was banned from wearing costumes to work ever again (as if I’d be working there for longer than three months).
This year, though, I think I will plan something special. Perhaps some of you can help me out; I would like to hear some ideas from the Crankies as to what costume an “adult” should wear for a children’s spooky candy holiday.
Let me show you a few things that have caught my eye:
Now I know what you’re gonna say: “The Crayola Clansman has been done to death”. I know, I know, but I just can’t withstand the appeal.
Zombie Karl Marx? Now why didn’t I think of that! It combines my two favorite things: Zombies and Communism! If I can find a way to make the Communist Manifesto out of Marshmallows it’d be a perfect representation of the only things I care about.
I’m seriously considering going as Klaus Nomi. If only I can find ten gallons of pure white foundation, ten pieces of black lipstick, and a triangular plastic suit with an over sized bow-tie.
It’s gonna be a tough decision this year, especially if you guys suggest some even better ideas! Oh well, I do have quite abit of time to think about it. Besides, if I have trouble deciding between a few costumes I can always force my friends to dress up as the ones I don’t pick.
Send me your ideas Crankies, you have your marching orders.