Denise Simon

Location: Illinois, United States

Who are you, where are you, what are you?
Denise Ann Simon. My boyfriends apartment. Artist, Crafter, Vegan Cook, and Bike Rider.

What are you living for? What do you absolutely need to survive in this world (beyond biological necessities such as food, water, shelter, and Pushing Daisies episodes)?
To be self sufficient. My bike, if there is a disaster in Chicago, I’ll be the first one out of here! I guess also some pencils and pens, I need those to draw with, oh and I guess I would include paper.

Please explain to me what that tiger-boyfriend drawing is all about. What is so appealing about tigers, are they really good dates? Are they polite? Are they stable and career-minded and won’t loaf around the house playing video games all day while you slave over a hot stove?
That drawing is silly! I hope my old boss doesn’t read this, but I did it one day at work. Tiger-boyfriend is the potential name of my other business venture. Which is something to do with bikes and wheels…but for now its top secret, I can’t discuss anymore!

“In a poll conducted by Animal Planet, the Tiger was voted World’s Favorite Animal, narrowly beating the man’s best friend, the dog.” found via Wikipedia. Damn, that is pretty cool! Maybe that is why I drew tiger-boyfriend.

What has influenced your art more: Love, Hate, Anger, Joy, Despair, or some other emotion?
Confusion. I feel like I am always going to be confused, so many things goes into what influences me. Right now I am just focusing on creating things and not really thinking to hard about them. When I start thinking too hard about my work, I start to lack on producing pieces. What is important to me, is to just keep creating. Creating bad work, good work, awesome work, fun work, and strange work.

What is one thing you can point to and say: “This is me, this best represents who I am”? (This can be one of your drawings or anything else).
HA, Tiger-Boyfriend of course. Because, Animal Planet conducted a poll, and they voted Denise as everyone’s favorite!

Which of your drawings would make the best couple, do you think they’d get married some day?
Maybe the Gopher drawing that I did. They seem like they would be a good match. That might be too literal. What about the people in my “Extremes” drawing. Cause opposites attract and you know, it ain’t fiction just a natural fact. We come together like opposites attract.

Do you believe in astrology? What is your sign?
Gemini, Nervous and tense, Superficial and inconsistent, Cunning and inquisitive. That sounds horrible! That is not me…

Has your work been shown in any galleries? What galleries would you kill to have your artwork shown in? (Also: What weapon or tactic would you use in the murder?)
I have been in a few gallery shows. Five to be exact. I would love to have my work shown in Motel Gallery, Grass Hut, Okay Mountain, Richard Heller Gallery, ect – but I don’t think I could kill anyone. Although my weapon of choice would be my killer karate moves.

Who would stand by your side even if you were convicted of art-murder in the first degree?
Wait, I said, I don’t think I could kill anyone, but if I were to be wrongly convicted, I would get support from my attorney.

Do you ever slack-off in your work? What helps you get out of your lethargy?
Everyday! The benefits of working for myself, I can slack-off all the time. If I force myself to make art work, it turns out terribly. It can be a long process to create something that I like, but luckily, I can always slack-off and do research, read, knit, doodle, go for walks, ride my bike and watch movies to inspire me. There really has not been a dull moment. I am always busy.

What group of people do you think your art most appeals to? (Other artists, Southerners, the Chinese, clowns, CEOs, nerds, vampires…etc…)
___________ {fill in the blank}

Have you ever failed? What helped you get through it?
Funny you asked, I was on the phone with my mom earlier and she told me this very quote; “You have to fail first, to succeed.” I have not failed myself with my art work, but I did however fail math in High School. I begged my teacher that if he didn’t fail me, I would draw him a picture. I didn’t pass…

Do you have a journal or diary, or one that you kept when you were younger? If so: Could you write out a random paragraph of it for us? If not: Pretend you did keep one and make a paragraph up (you can also use this approach if you do have a journal but don’t want us to know what’s in it).
Dear Diary, I have a crush on Jonathan, Donnie, Jordan, Joey and Danny.

What five people have most inspired you in your art and your life in general?
My Tiger Boyfriend. My mom. Georges Perec. Margaret Kilgallen. My friend Sandy.

What’s the happiest place you’ve ever been (or the place where you have your happiest memory).
Right now. I am doing what I have always wanted to do and I have the best people supporting me. Not financially…. but whole-heartedly.

If you could combine yourself with a type of plant AND a type of animal which two would you splice your genes with in order to create some sort of scientific abomination or Pokemon character? What would you then be called?
Avocado Tree and a Llama. Avollama!

What would you do as this new species, how would you go about your day?
Well, as an Avollama I would relish my days in eating avocadoes while knitting sweaters. (I guess that would defeat the purpose of being an Avocado Tree and a Llama, I wouldn’t last too long!)

Which of your works of art do you take the most pride in?
The first print I sold on Etsy was a very proud moment for me, because it signaled the start of my new life as a self-employed artist.

Did you ever go on an “adventure” as a kid? Did you ever get into major trouble?
In middle school I was supposed to wait at the library for my mom everyday to pick me up. Her only rule was that I don’t leave the library for whatever reason. My friend Jenny also waited at the library for her mom and we decided to sneak out everyday to get candy at the little grocery store up the street, completely disregarding our parents’ rules.

One night my mom and I went to go get pizza at the restaurant next door to the grocery store and a lady walked in and said hello to me. My mom turns to her to ask how she knows me and she said that she sees me everyday after school when I buy candy! I was grounded for a really long time!

When it comes to your art, what is your basic goal when you put pen to paper? Why are you doing it?
To make art! I do this, because there’s no way I can’t do it. It’s a habit, it’s a hobby, it’s my living.

Make an anagram out of the top three candidates’ last names that you are most likely to vote for in the 2008 election.

If a mad scientist aimed a gigantic ray-gun at you that would turn you into a delicious piece of candy and gave you the choice of what treat you’d like to become, what would you choose?
This is a trick question, much like my Avollama. I would just be eating myself!

What’s something important about you that you’d like to express that I haven’t managed to cover in my questionnaire’ le fantastique?
It is important to know that Denise doesn’t talk in the third person.

Cranky David
I started Cranky Yellow in 2005 and I haven't stopped for a moment moving forward. I oversee nearly everything CY related. In my free time I enjoy biology, crafting monsters and assorted philosophy.