FEAR OF THE ARMADILLO

The time has come to exploit the Armadillo taxidermy in an effort to inspire and market some of the latest goods in the Cranky Yellow gallery! If we can’t leg up from the antics of our latest prehistoric (and preserved) friend than we should just give it all up.

Se’s calling your name. Fear the invasion. Open your eyes! Meet the newest objects below:

Quirk up your life with a free “Read Directions Carefully” packet left for the taking by The Art-Damaged Working Class. The contents are a mystery but I’m sure you’ll have no choice but to love it. A waste of time or timelessly wasted.

Couple that freebie with a vintage $4.00 Best of Sick Jokes book and you’ll soon pride yourself in your ability to offend. Take this as a lesson:

“There was the butcher who backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders”

With cracked humor like that we will approve. What a hilariously gruesome collection of jokes and cartoons!!

Dream Catcher parts for sale! Not the whole thing, obviously, just the hypnotizing mandalas. I have been finding a lot of inspiration in their repetitive concentric geometries. Perhaps you’ll need some too. For capturing those bad dreams or setting your mind forward.

We have assorted sizes and complexities for sale. $3.00 and under. Unless there is something more special about one of them, in which case I doubt you could afford it.

Now stocking a small collection of SEW RAD Clothing and Accessories. Handmade from recycled materials and shirts (mostly small fitted sizing) are frilly and adorable! $30.00 and limited! For those of you that like finding personal clothing. Be yourself + Be unique.

See also the Bengson’s album The Proof! $12.00 gets you the 15 song CD from this husband and wife duo. Abigail Bengson’s eerie howling lyrics spice up this vaudevillian act. Only one left in stock at cranky so it’s better if you buy it now rather than later!

Oh how 1990 seems so long ago! These are original “Deluxe Turtles” (that’s trademarked) Movie Cards. The complete set is 132 action packed cards from the blockbuster movie. You can start collecting them now at Cranky Yellow. For only $1.00 a pack, you can’t possibly beat that blast from the past.

Each comes with 9 glossy movie memento cards and one sticker. Um, yes!

Trim your bush or other house plants with this handy vintage kit. For shaving or holding small utensils while traveling. This to-go pack proves how much better things were in the past. You can’t find things so flattering and functional today! Bound in leather and each shiny chrome object is in place. $15.00 or else!

Not to mention our ceramic Native American chief and big-eyed kitsch owl. Just two of our ever growing collection of strange collectibles. Note the microphone poking in from the right side. They’re singing some trashy pop together. That’s a sight worth $30.00.

Lastly: Lay your eyes on the stuffed Armadillo! She’s aptly named the 9 banded Armadillo. A fantastic specimen! Just look at those digging claws! She’s arrived to rip up your crops and generally piss you off! The ‘Dillo is not native to Missouri but have been spreading inward, as the species continues to expand territory!

This little lady is too special to our yellow hearts to sell (yet) but she’ll be lingering around the Cranky Headquarters. It’s only fair to let you peek at her. Rejoice that Armor — I don’t know how you died, but your shiny shell is loved! Out.